Petty Manager Could Have Set Company Up as a Grinch for Future Liability Issues
While most wage slaves are looking forward to their office Christmas parties to “chillax” with co-workers, enjoy free libations and food on the company’s dime, or get a little frisky with a “colleague crush” under the mistletoe - sometimes a rote corporate holiday party can turn into a legal hassle.
Check out this decidedly un-festive, yuletide experience that happened to a woman named “Martika”, about being excluded from her company’s Christmas soiree. Martika (pseudonym) recounts a petty Christmas party snub from her office manager in a recent post on Reddit that left her feeling like a bullied preteen, in spite of being a middle-aged woman presumably near menopause.
What’s interesting about Martika’s situation, is that it appears to be so obviously petty and unimportant on the surface. Yet, lurking below the horizon - there are serious, negative career implications for Martika that can arise from this ordeal, if she allows herself to remain a victim of the office tyrant’s reindeer games.
Martika's Christmas Chaos
Martika begins her post, “Just a vent, because I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party. I work in the corporate office of a major retail chain. I walked out of my office to fill my water bottle a little bit ago, and suddenly everyone was gone! That was odd. The remaining coworker flagged me down for a question and mentioned she was ‘just too busy to go to the Christmas party’. I looked at her with what I'm sure was a deer-in-the-headlights look. She said, "Oh...didn't you get the email?" I responded, “Of course not. Ugh”.
Martika came to a realization, “It turns out the manager of our local location was having a Christmas party today. Everyone working at the area location was invited...except for me!” Martika continues with a frustrated sigh, “We're all well into adulthood. I'm close to 50, this store manager is 50+. For whatever reason the woman has never liked me and from what people have relayed to me, talks nasty about me on a regular basis. What's crazy is, that I have very little interaction or involvement with this person!
Our jobs don't even really overlap and we have little reason to communicate. On a personal level, we don't have any overlap…It feels like grade school all over again. As a kid, I was sent to a Catholic private school, as a poor kid who lived in a mobile home - you can imagine how that went.”
Martika closes, “Anyway, this is embarrassing and mortifying. I feel like an a**. Our CEO, HR - everyone but the 2 of us are at this party. Do I say anything to anybody? It feels so petty to mention it to HR or the CEO, but part of me wants to. Partly, because this is crappy behavior that shouldn't be done by someone in management and partly because I don't want to be seen as the person who doesn't participate/isn't a team player (because surely they don't know I wasn't invited).” On the surface, this seems like a trivial occurrence over a manager snubbing a subordinate they are not fond of, by not inviting her to the corporate Christmas party. No big deal… Actually, this COULD be a VERY big deal for all parties involved.
What if Martika is fired or laid off in the next 6 months?
What if Martika takes this “Mean Girl” matter to court as part of a wrongful termination lawsuit or a hostile work environment matter? Let’s unpack how this seemingly small snub reveals the office social pecking order, corporate power dynamics, how this incident could mushroom into a legal disaster for Martika’s employer, and the lessons everyone in this scenario should learn.
Martika needs 4 “Reality Checks” before Santa comes down her chimney
1. Not only should Martika tell HR immediately of this snub - because shunning and exclusion are most definitely practices of a hostile work environment - but Martika needs to create a paper trail of her office manager’s flagrant mistreatment; in case she decides to make this a legal matter in the future.
2. Next, Martika should start a comprehensive dossier on how this manager has mistreated her from the start of her tenure. This will protect Martika in an unemployment insurance appeal, should she get denied unemployment insurance down the road over “gross misconduct” or any other disqualifying factors alleged by the company or that were potentially negatively influenced by Martika’s office manager.
3. Martika should also tell HR that this office manager has previously maligned her character to her colleagues, causing reputational damage. This way, Martika can go on the offensive to send a clear message to her office manager that she will not tolerate exclusionary tactics or further reputation sniping. If the office manager values her job, she will think twice about targeting Martika for further mistreatment because Martika is not an easy target and could report future grievances to HR.
4. Lastly, Martika should try to transfer to another division in her company. If that is not possible, Martika needs to understand that a toxic manager is a massive roadblock in your career progression, so she should start looking for a new employer!
SHEEP ALERT: Martika, girrrrrrrl! Don’t pass “Go” and don’t collect $200.
This is your wake-up call to restart your job hunt, perhaps even before you take down your personal Christmas decorations. Clearly, the office manager disdains you to the point she will not only exclude you from the office Christmas party, but she appears to have coordinated a clandestine plan with your colleagues to SNEAK OUT EN MASSE during your purported POTTY BREAK - just to ensure you don’t find out about your company’s Christmas shindig! Talk about dislike!!
This is a level of contempt Martika should not ignore from her office manager, even if the office manager is not in Martika’s direct chain of command. If this office manager has good relationships with upper management, she could badmouth Martika to upper management behind her back and cost Martika promotional opportunities in the future, with Martika being none the wiser. The Writing is in the Eggnog
Worse, if this office manager has any input over staffing decisions, this is a
SUPER RED FLAG that you are not valued and your job is in danger. This office manager could influence your ouster with the power players behind the scenes, the first chance she gets. Moreover, Martika should realize she is probably not viewed as a star worker or well-liked by her colleagues. Even unlikable star workers have some cache due to their importance to overall productivity or the corporate bottom line, so smart company management officials would likely treat star workers somewhat decently to their faces, to not alienate them.
Lastly, if some workplaces are considered “second families”, you do have to question your colleagues for going along with this ruse - and departing en mass to the office Christmas party - at the first chance they could! If Martika established genuine connections or solid relationships with any of her colleagues, they could have tipped her off on the low about the whereabouts of the office Christmas party. I would do that for a friend and so would many of you! For whatever reason, Martika is the lowest on the totem poll. If her office manager and colleagues are willing to conspire to exclude Martika from a lame office Christmas party, imagine what they could do if real promotional opportunities were on the line?
Martika, as soon as you can, roll up out of there to a new opportunity. If NOBODY likes you in your office and you have no allies - justifiably or not - a change of scenery can only benefit your career.
Who gets a lump of coal for Christmas among this crew? The Office Manager - You are stupid and childish, and you could have set the company up for a lawsuit about the “creation or perpetuation of a hostile working environment” over a meaningless work holiday party. Furthermore, while it’s easily provable that you intentionally excluded Martika from the "Office Christmas Party” invitation email, it can be inferred that you used your position to pressure Martika’s colleagues to ice her out of this event - while even coordinating a time for everyone to leave without her knowledge - the first time she left the office for 5 minutes! That’s beyond shady, terribly tacky, and certainly not in the cheery spirit of “Seasons Greetings”.
Martika’s Colleagues - Unless this office manager has some power over your careers, particularly if she is your direct supervisor, you guys are complicit and responsible for workplace bullying and contributing to a hostile working environment. Seriously, grown professionals ALL colluding to leave the office in warp speed and synchronized en masse, the second Martika leaves the room, to surreptitiously attend an office Christmas party - so she won’t find out? Y’all got to get a life!
Martika’s Company Overall - Apparently, there is a toxic culture of character assassination through disparaging office gossip and grade school exclusionary tactics that are fostered by a prominent member of management, where it’s acceptable to mistreat employees lower in the pecking order. At best, such open displays of hostility towards one worker by an entire department, encouraged by an office manager of all people, are reflective of a larger cultural problem at this company - where such shenanigans are tolerated. At worst, managers at this company are allowed to fearlessly wield discretionary power against those poor souls not on their Christmas card list, legal ramifications be damned.
Conclusion
At first glance, not being invited to an office Christmas party, could be a blessing. It’s one less social function for you to pork up at, buy cheap White Elephant presents for colleagues you pretend to like, or be bored by meaningless small talk from co-workers whom you barely remember their names.
Nonetheless, when you carefully look under the surface, a trifling and humiliating snub by management with possible collusion from colleagues could add up to a corporate legal headache down the road.
Especially, if Martika has more than one documented example of management creating a hostile working environment, it could be a “Blue Christmas” for her employer this time next year!
Comments