top of page
Writer's pictureProfit

How Your Annual Performance Review Can Be Your Personal Miss Cleo

The Dreaded Performance Evaluation Can Be a Crystal Ball for Your Career!

Miss Cleo pop art photo
Miss Cleo, the deceased famous TV infomercial psychic, was a pop culture fad and later - a punchline - for much of her fame.

Everyone hates the dreaded "annual performance review” process - and with good reason! Who likes every aspect of their professional performance scrutinized by some middle manager...that you privately feel may be less competent than you are?


Worse, there is a lot on the line with getting a good annual performance review (APR for short), as you learn whether you are eligible for a raise or not. Also, HR departments often complicate the matter by turning APR's into a longer, more complex process that requires more participants than your immediate chain of command - while adding extraneous focuses that are merely burdens on top of the scope of your daily tasks you are required to excel at.


While the necessity of an APR can be debated for another day, I want to flip the negative anticipation on its head, so you can view the psychic opportunities you can discern or unearth from your annual performance review.


Who Was Miss Cleo?

In the late 90s, a "psychic" by the name of Miss Cleo became a pop culture sensation through the omnipresent infomercials she appeared in for the Psychic Readers Network. Ms. Cleo was famous for her pronounced Jamaican accent, her over-the-top personality, her supposed gift of clairvoyance, and eventually for being sued for a bevy of questionable activities. Eventually, Miss Cleo was lampooned by late-night comics for her flamboyant presentation and her scandals. You are probably wondering, "How does a disgraced TV psychic, who rose to mainstream fame over 25 years ago and has been dead since 2016, tie into APR advice?"


Let Your APR Be Your Miss Cleo

Your APR is supernaturally psychic - about your short-term future with your employer! Forget a crystal ball, your APR will tell you everything you need to know about your current professional standing - and what you should do - based on the type of APR you get. Great workers typically receive 5% annual raises from healthy companies, while good workers usually get a 3% annual raise bump.  Sheep Alert

Sheep are known for following the herd to promote their safety from predators by traveling in large numbers, working together to protect weaker members, and benefiting from the "wisdom of the crowd" to locate good feeding and drinking places. Humans fall into similar groupthink patterns to avoid risks associated with extreme, unorthodox independence and to reap social benefits. However, this normal self-protective impulse can be counterproductive to your career when an individual follows others excessively out of cowardice and to his or her detriment, as some plum social and financial opportunities require individual risk. Therefore, I will call out self-sabotaging, sheep-like behavior where I see fit.


Cartoon sheep
Sheep are cute, but don't emulate their unquestioned propensity to follow the herd.

Scenario #1 - You get a Great APR, but are Not Offered a Significant Raise

If you are a stud or star employee, who routinely gets "5's" in every relevant category in your APR, but still doesn't receive a 5% raise minimum, it's time to bounce! A 5% annual raise is standard for top-of-the-line employees. Companies know pay raises are incentives that encourage us wage slaves to work harder. Companies also know they have to pay higher salaries to premium talent. Therefore, if you doing everything but "walking on water" for your employer - and still only receive a "cost of living increase" or COLA - you should take a gander at available job posts in your vicinity.


Reality Check #1 - Your Company is Going Broke.

If a company refuses to reward an obvious, likable star worker - and said star worker is told a raise is off the table because their profit margins are slim - this indicates a likely decline in corporate revenue for your employer. Start your job search immediately, as your company can no longer retain the services of premium talent. This means layoffs may also be forthcoming, so it might be in your best interests to find a new watering hole, as your current one appears to be drying up...and you don't want to get caught up in a round of layoffs that even the fraudulent ghost of Miss Cleo could see coming SHEEP ALERT: Your job is not as stable as you think it is, so start weighing your options on the open market. You must ask your direct supervisor about the overall financial health of the company and if layoffs or workforce reductions are being discussed for the company’s immediate or mid-range future.  Scenario #2 - You get a Great APR, the Company is Doing Great Business - but you are Not Offered a Significant Raise Greed is another factor as to why a good worker is not rewarded with a commensurate raise for a stellar performance. There's only so much profit sharing that can go around and not everyone gets a piece of the pie. Perhaps, your Employer Overlord wants to only reward other colleagues they personally like better. Or, your boss receives a perverse financial incentive for keeping labor costs down. Alternatively, your manager prefers to pass along the extra revenue from profit margins to investors via paying higher dividends to keep stock prices high.


Reality Check #2 - Your Company is Cheap Either way, you should leave for greener pastures- unless there is some other overarching benefit that offsets a higher salary, such as a remote work schedule, low health insurance premiums, flexible start times, close commute, etc. Do you want to remain with an employer that acknowledges your good performance, and has the financial means to reward you, but chooses not to SHEEP ALERT: This is a recipe for you to become very resentful if you remain with this employer. Start investigating your options on the open market.  Scenario #3 - You get a Great APR, but are Not Offered a Significant Raise. Yet, All the Cool Kids are Getting Raises Personality clashes and bosses playing favorites are a fact of work life. Sometimes, being an excellent worker is not enough to curry favor or to even get your just desserts. If the company is raking in money AND raises for other workers who you perceive to be comparable to your competency and proficiency are getting rewarded handsomely, there might be some personal issues at play that are stymieing your career advancement

Reality Check #3 - Your Bosses Don't Like You That Much Sometimes, being well-liked by management is as important as being good at your job. Typically, when cuts have to be made between workers of similar acumen, competence, and productivity are concerned, likability is often the deciding factor. Moreover, if a star worker is perceived to have a bad attitude or is simply not a "culture fit", a less accomplished worker may get chosen to stay, while the star worker is released instead Your boss may find a way to not increase your salary on some sort of irrelevant technicality to justify not raising your salary. "Johnny, your Christmas potluck dishes blow!" or "Even though you are an awesome Amazon delivery driver, your typing speed is a little slow" are examples of misdirection to get you to accept minimal compensation. SHEEP ALERT: This is a multi-step process. Find out for certain if the company is profitable. If your company is profitable, ask why you are not being considered for the maximum raise allowable if you feel you are blowing away the minimum standards to maintain gainful employment. Then, ask who are the office role models for a 5% annual raise and find out from your manager specifically - what are your successful colleagues doing that you aren't - in the eyes of management! This is where honest, self-reflection occurs. Ask yourself, "Is Suzy really better than me at 'X'?" Nonetheless, if you feel others are being rewarded for lesser contributions, time to refresh your resume. Why would you allow a boss who doesn't like you to curtail your earning potential? Scenario #4 - You Received a Lackluster APR OR You Are Put on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP)

In some cases, we really don't know how unvalued we are by our superiors or overestimate our importance to the company. Then, a negative APR or even being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan shocks us into the reality that we are lucky to still be employed. This APR brought you back to reality, shape up or ship out.


Reality Check #4 - You are an Underperforming Bad Fit

Sometimes, we're under the delusion that we are a good or even a great worker when the opposite is true. Per Intoo and the Harris Poll, 40% of workers will get a pink slip at least once during their careers, while 23% of workers will be cast out of their workplaces 3 or more times! Not every job or employer is a perfect match. Maybe, you did really suck at your job and don't deserve a raise? Perhaps, you were poorly trained or micro-managed to inefficiency due to no fault of your own. Either way, you are a bad fit and need to hatch an exit plan before Jeff Probst snuffs your torch. 


SHEEP ALERT: According to betterup.com, 90% of workers put on a PIP, end up leaving the company. While a PIP in good faith can be very useful and turn around an underperforming employee, most of the time PIPs are harbingers of doom, as companies are looking to protect themselves from future wrongful termination lawsuits or other liability reasons. If you get a disappointing or unjust APR or are put in a PIP, you really should be hitting the Indeed job board on your lunch breaks!

A giant crystal ball on a workplace conference room table
Let your APR be your crystal ball to determine your long term fit at your employer.

Crystal Ball Conclusion Since we all have to endure an APR anyway, reframe the experience to glean worthwhile information for your professional planning. Your APR can inform you about your company's financial health and/or its willingness to reward top talent. Do not ignore the state of your company or management's philosophy on raises and just think, "If I work that much harder, I will get my just due." Know that such companies are unable or unwilling to reward or retain top talent due to a business downturn or greedy, short-sided management

Your APR will be the crystal ball to also let you know if the shot callers think you are doing a good job, if they even like you, or if you are an expendable cost to the company.

Don't let such factors such as a company's poor financials, unattainable benchmarks for raises, or unappreciative management have undue control over your financial goals! You are giving management too much control over your career by not betting on yourself finding new opportunities in the open market.

If they don't want to pay you a deserved raise, raise on up out of there!

Comments


bottom of page