Don't Hate The Coffee Badger...Hate The Game

Imitate and Replicate Instead

Who could hate Idris Elba…even if he is the office “Coffee Badger”?

Meet Kenwon.

Kenwon has it all…beauty, brains, and brawn. Kenwon routinely gets mistaken for hunk actor Idris Elba all around his adopted home of Los Angeles. Kenwon is also intelligent, charming, and super sweet, but don’t mistake his kindness for weakness though. Kenwon doesn’t suffer disrespect lightly. Kenwon will check your rudeness in a New York second and has a very masculine frame, so people tend to take him seriously when he’s not feeling a situation. Shoot, if you asked Kenwon to pray for a sick relative, he would be honored to pray to God with you in your time of need! Then, why do Kenwon’s co-workers secretly loathe him?

Because…nobody likes a “Coffee Badger”…much less the typical “sheeple” that frequent offices all across Los Angeles.

Who are the "Sheeple" at your office? If you can't think of any, it's probabyly YOU!

What is a Coffee Badger? A Coffee Badger is a colleague in your office who predominantly works remotely from home - and can arrange his work schedule flexibly to meet the demands of his personal life - while everybody else fights traffic 10 times per week to work “live and in living color” in the office. Meanwhile, the Coffee Badger is only required to come to the office one day per week or month and for important meetings.

Haters Gon’ Hate On the surface, who wouldn’t envy a colleague who doesn’t have to waste time and energy wading through the notoriously thick Los Angeles rush hour traffic cycles; which can be 12 straight hours of traffic for the unlucky commuters who must travel along the beaten path to earn their pittance of cheese. Not to mention, Kenwon saves money on gas, dry cleaning, parking, and pricey lunches, while his resentful colleagues need to budget some of their hard-earned income - just to sustain their position through a typical workweek.

Misery Certainly Loves Company Sure, nobody likes anyone else getting special treatment. However, as you feverishly try to get to work on time, it would be far better to emulate Kenwon - than poke needles in his Voodoo Doll. Oh yeah, while you are busy hating on Kenwon, Kenwon just rolls out of bed 5 minutes before his shift with ample morning wood, and still logs in before YOU!

Learn to Negotiate for Soft Perks Other Than Salary to Sweeten Your Deal

Reality Check #1 - Do You Even Know What You Want - Besides Salary - From Prospective Employers? Shocker, everyone ALWAYS wants more money! Yet, money is not everything to everybody. Close commutes, flexible work schedules, and remote work can be more important to some Wage Slaves.

You can’t ask for what you want - if you haven’t first defined it for yourself! What else could satisfy you besides a pay bump?

Kenwon knows what he wants from his next job.

Do you? Or do you just take the first deal an employer offers and bow in deference?

Reality Check #2 - What Are You Willing to Sacrifice? Employer Overlords have gotten hip to the myriad of advantages that today’s workers enjoy by working remotely. Subsequently, employers realize they can save on budgeted salaries for some new hires by offering remote work.

As such, the salary offered may be lower than what you would earn if you were commuting 5 days per week to the office for the tradeoff for more workweek remote flexibility. Also, recent studies have shown that remote workers often miss out on promotional opportunities, due to being out of sight and often out of mind with landlocked managerial higher-ups. Unlike what Cosmo will tell you, you can’t have it all! What’s YOUR tradeoff? Reality Check #3 - Don’t Hate, Replicate! Approach Kenwon and gently inquire how he got his set up. Many in Kenwon’s situation are willing to share such strategies to “put on” colleagues he genuinely likes. Other’s like me, won’t miss an opportunity to show off ‘how I beat the system’. Either way, don’t be such a passive whiner.

Take advantage of your “Coffee Badger” colleague’s niceness or ego to figure out how to better maximize perks from your employer. Consider the following…

• Perhaps, Kenwon is more assertive than you? Close mouths don’t get fed. Find out what worked for him and see if it can work for you.

• Could Kenwon be a better negotiator than you? It’s time to study up on “negotiation strategies”?

• Maybe, Kenwon simply looked and merely found a remote job per his desired lifestyle. Yes, often it’s better to be lucky than good.
  

While you may not be able to copy our strategies due to the precise contractual arrangements with your current employer, you certainly can attempt to replicate a cushy, flexible, remote setup - or other perks - for yourself with future employers.

Conclusion

Instead of hating on your office “Coffee Badger”, befriend Kenwon, learn from his success in setting up his work life around his personal needs, and muster the courage to approach your next Employer Overlord for other perks - besides the dollar signs in your eyes!